My upcoming book, ‘9 Lives To Courage’ will be published later this year!
In a snapshot:
‘An innovative and life-changing approach to building courage through the art of storytelling, illustration and imagination exercises to radically alter your reality. Face your inner fear monsters, find true heroic purpose and awaken the warrior within to become your true and authentic self! ‘
An important concept of my book is getting out of your comfort zone. I would like to share an excerpt from my book on that topic, as a taster but also as a discussion on a very important aspect of mental health. It also reveals a bit about my personal experience with stepping outside of my comfort zone. Let me know what you think. It is still a draft version but I am getting exciting!
The Comfort Zone:
We all like the feeling of the familiar. It’s predictable, it’s safe. But you can never grow beyond its walls. If you’re not out of your comfort zone, you’re not changing! Lingering in the comfort zone means you will never even start the journey to becoming who you really want to be. Pushing your boundaries means by definition that things will get uncomfortable but recognizing that discomfort as a positive thing is an important first step.
Discomfort is often a sign that you are doing something right! Feel happy when you feel it, it means progress and something new is happening. Much like how you feel sore after working out because your muscles have been stretched, the discomfort is a sign that your life is being stretched. The life we truly want isn’t discovered by playing it safe and avoiding pain. It manifests from the fulfillment of giving it your utmost, from pushing your limits and doing whatever it takes to exceed your previous self, regardless of the pain.
Robert Fritz, author of The Path of Least Resistance says, “If you limit your choice only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” Just let that sink in. Is a compromise what you really want? Is that what your life is currently?
Often, getting out of the comfort zone is like training for a marathon. Running a little further and a little quicker each day until somehow you are doing something you never thought you could do before. Other times, life doesn’t afford this, and we have to make all-or-nothing decisions to embrace dramatic change or stay forever the same. Either way, you are more likely to start the journey out of the comfort zone if you are consciously accepting that change is worth the discomfort ahead of time.
The best part is that once you do step outside of your comfort zone, it will give you the power to stand up not only for yourself but also for others which will, in turn, inspire others to start being more courageous for themselves and then for others as well. It’s an inspirational ripple effect. The time for a hero is upon us, so the question is, will you step out of the zone?
Don’t worry, I am going to show you how to defeat that annoying fear monster tempting you to stay snuggled up in your fluffy warm comfort zone. Your fear monster will do everything it can to convince you to never leave this so-called ‘safe place’. There are many powerful techniques and tools to learn but at first, all I ask is for your willingness to step out into the unknown with me. Let’s go on a quest to slay these fear monsters for good and embrace the adventure outside of the comfort zone as a positive and necessary goal. You fully deserve to live your dream. I am telling you, never give up on what is precious in your heart. Take a moment to tell yourself this as well.
An early example of how I personally trained myself to get out of my comfort zone and invite adventure into my life was simply how I dressed. I have always been very alternative by nature, even as a child. I wanted to make my life more like the fantastical adventure stories that I read. I got into comic books, particularly manga, at a very young age. My dad was an international businessman who went to Japan several times a year and often, the Japanese would also come over to visit us, bringing stories and gifts with them. I was immersed in manga and anime and fell in love with it.
I already was a pretty weird kid who basically loved wearing cat ears ALL the time (this has never changed obviously!) and so when I was introduced to comics that had other catgirls, I totally was mesmerized. The Japanese style of storytelling also completely sucked me in. But I was also influenced by more western comics such a Tank Girl and Catwoman. These illustrated heroes from my past also inspired me to become an artist and a writer, comics being one of the most amazing mediums to combine these two art forms.
Unlike most people, I really did not want to blend in. That was more terrifying to me than standing out. I hated the idea of being forgettable. I think some of it came from an insecurity that I didn’t have a lot more to offer than my individuality so I really wanted to be a bold and different as possible. Thankfully, I understand now that I have a lot more to give beyond this but I am glad I broke myself of the fear of standing out regardless!
My alternative dress was also so inspired by these magical stories I was getting absorbed into. I found the adventure of comic books and anime so much more exciting and fun than reality that I wanted to make my real life more like them. Day-to-day life could be pretty dull, and I yearned for adventure which was difficult in my conservative and rather backward hometown with a small-town mentality. So, the best I could do to bring the fantasy to reality was in the way I dressed.
I would come to school looking like a cross between Tank Girl, Battle Angel Alita, Catwoman, and a bit of Gothic Lolita as well. I really loved it! I look back at my high school pictures and I have to admit, I am pretty proud! I posted a few pictures of me as a teenager for the main image for this blog so you can get an idea!
But of course, this came at a cost. We all know what happens to kids that are different.’ Yep, you guessed it, I was bullied. And being in a well-to-do preppy part of town full of jocks and cheerleaders in California, I ended up with hardly any friends and very isolated. It was very much like a clique Hollywood film where I even got voted as the homecoming princess as a joke!
But I was happy to be myself even if it was a lonely path. And I did draw other like-minded people eventually to myself, even if they were far and few between, it was quality over quantity. By being authentic, I created a tribe that really understood me and valued me for my genuine self instead of compromising who I was to try to fit in with people who had nothing in common with me.
Whenever I went to comic cons, I saw so many others like me, exploding out into the fantastical realms and living this adventure in these amazing costumes for at least one day. When I moved to London, UK as a young adult, I found many more alternative people fully embracing their identities and creative expression with their dress. It was amazing and I felt right at home.
Though it may not be practical to do that every day, being true to who you are is exciting and such a fun way to create adventure in your life. It is a simple act of self-expression and creativity that can be a lifeline for our inner voices and passion. We need to stop caring what complete strangers on the streets that have nothing to do with our day-to-day lives think. No matter who or what you are, you will only find adventure if you can embrace your true and authentic self and conquer the fear that stops you from living it.
I know, I know, easier said than done. That is why we are working through this process together. The first step is the WILLINGNESS to venture out of the comfort zone. By your willingness to grow, change, take risks, try new things and find the courage to be your true and authentic self, you can transform your life’s landscape. There will be challenges and mistakes made as you find your way in the unknown on the outside, and I can’t magically change your outside circumstances to make it easier for adventure and meaningful change to happen in your life. The important thing is to accept ahead of time that these things will happen but be determined to keep moving forward anyway.
There must be something within you that is inspired and determined, and your choice has to be committed to finding new magic and adventure in your life no matter what your circumstances. You must need and want it bad enough. Make a decision that enough is enough, no more compromise.
More than anything, there has to be a choice to start caring, about yourself, about others, and about the life you have. I know some find it cheesy (I must confess there have been times in my life when I found it cheesy) But the saying that every second is a gift is a truth you need to start making real. Your life is a treasure, not only for you but for others as well. There is something you can give that no one else can. Time is our most valuable asset. Let’s make the most of everything, a life without regrets.
So I ask, are you ready to embrace change? Will you come jump out of the comfort zone with me onto the path of adventure? I am reaching out my hand…